Thursday, September 15, 2011

Existence....

Days are passing...
in search of Existence...
Days are passing...
In closed room looking out of window...
I feel sun..I feel Its rays...
all in search of existence...

I hold back... to solve the puzzle..
Puzzle of annoyance, puzzle of ego...
I hold back
I paint it black... I paint it white...
I paint it... the color I like...
the puzzle is same the puzzle is unchanged...
I see my hand via the rays...
I see orange...

See what I see..... feel what I feel...
Touch me and see what you feel...
the fight of existence remains via out the days...
days pass... in search of existence....

I see my self marching on the land of sand...
where dunes form and deform...
where I see my shadow follow my steps....
oh! my silhouette... make your own way...
follow your dreams... with the days of existence...
as days are passing...
passing in search of existence...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sayan...


I write this for my best friend...
I miss u Oh! my sweet friend..
Its just been few months that you decided not to talk to me...
But these months seems ages..

I am Going... In the defense of nation...
I don't know when I will get to see you...
the deed which I did... I am sorry for that...
Just once... My friend... talk to me...

I keep awake all night and my days pass thinking of you....
What shall I say... which will soften your heart soon...
I miss you my best friend...
There is no one but just you...
I will leave on 6th of oct...
Will wait for your call... will wait to meet you...
just once call me...
tease me the way you use to...
you n you are the only one I call my best friend...

these days are taking toil on me...
I miss climbing those stairs with you...
your hand pulling mine to climb them fast... fast as you do...
Sayan... I wait for you on those stairs...

I want you to hit me back when I do....
I have nothing to say just this I MISS YOU....
Do you get this...
Its been ages n I have to leave...
Come na... please come...
Meet me once before I leave....

I don't know what is space...
But this space is now killing me...
Sayan.... I miss you suar...
You swine....
Will you come...
to tease me... to take treat....
to smile and crack joke together...
in that same bloody red ESTILO....
I wait.... on those stair case....


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Bird...

For Now i wish... just one wish... To fly or to swim... where I can feel the breeze brushing my cheeks...As what I wish for now is to be a bird but as I live in human form and have my role fixed may be next birth I'll be a bird...

Bird with wings... no thoughts but to fly all day... from one place to other... no horizon no boundary... no soul mate no namesake for any sake...

I want to feel light not only weight but from mind I want to have peace, peace of thoughts peace of mind....

Where the next day is to fly to other place, my wings flapping in the air.. clouds... I see from my tiny eyes I shut them while passing through them....

Where I don't have to be on time in office where I have no botheration of dressing up, there is no one to maintain the traffic rules, and no one to tell where to do what, Engulfed in my thoughts I fly from one place to other...

Every day is the way I want to spend... Everyday its me and no one else....


Saturday, July 16, 2011

Quit!!! Should I ??

Its hard to be back to work after 30 days of off. I am in a fix should I continue working or should I quit.

Its not that simple a question , I can't continue working in such an environment where boot licking is your job profile... u can't stand in favour of truth and u always have to zip your mouth and most important I see no growth.

When I have so many reasons to support my decision then the question is why I can't.

Now again its not that simple...

1. If I leave my job I have to go back home (which I do not wish to).

2.I won't be able to meet Sidharth and Sayan which I have been longing for past two years and one of the major reason to come to Delhi for work.

3.In the mean time if Sayan plans to talk I wish to spend some time with him.

4. I like to stay independent, alone and in Delhi.

5. It was my dream to be here.


I don't know if these all points are relevant or not but then they matter to me the most right now. As such after two months we all have to land in different states and stay away... distance no matter would prevail in our lives but if I can ignore it for a while why not.

The price which I play is not less but then not too high... a time pass job which gets me 12,000 for 30 days of slaughtering.

Perfect ! ( Is It !)

I can't make up my mind I did not have enough of my two best buddies...May be this is my last month and I wish to live it to the fullest with them.... but time demands something else and I totally deny to give time what it wants because this I want something which matters to me the most and I have been dreaming to live it I can't afford to let it go so easily.

I want to spend my precious time with them. I made it, but I had no one to celebrate with.... Sayan had told me once " you would get the best , you just have to wait ".... and when I achieved it he is not talking to me.

Its not hard to digest your sorrows when your friends are around but it hurts the most when they are not around to celebrate your victory.

To make up my mind to leave this job is hard as I might loose on to the precious time which I can spend with my friends.




May be i am thinking too hard on this i should let it go. May be things take a turn which might prove to be the best for the situation.




Lets see what happens I plan to challenge Time, Destiny and above all myself.... Who wins is a suspense....

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

THE INDIA

In the present time when we say the world is shrinking what do we mean is it just the technology or people in real., coming close to each other just because we have dense network of 3G, 4G, Metro, Air Way and what not in that regard.


Yes we are connected to each other.


India from developing to developed country, but with that the corruption went from minor to major stages.


Delhi came up with metro network so as other states with dense network of roads. The air fare went cheaper and new rails were introduced.Yes we became globally connected but the cost we paid was too high.


Rape cases touched sky, rise in sexual assault, new methods of torturing, new fields of corruption, somewhere we lost our roots and got disconnected with are basic values.


I am young girl of 23 years and have seen India as a new born, and she has climbed the stairs of maturity with me dreaming and aiming high.I have seen loosing a world cup final and have seen winning one, I have won battle of Kargil and suffered the attack on parliament and maximum city, I have cherished India crowned in beauty pageant, I have seen my siblings dreaming of becoming Kalpan Chawala and so many but in midst of this I still fight for Ruchika Girhotra, Arushi Talwar, for my safety, for my rights and still fighting against violence, corruption and terrorism.


I don't know whom to blame, government where our corrupt politician's reside or myself who opt to vote for them.


Anna Hazare who decided to fight back because he had lost hope in our system or it was high time to revolt and stand for our right. We the common man joined hands because we think he is one of us who has finally decided to raise his voice against the system. We encouraged him, stood by his side and the result we all know, now the committee formed does not even talk about the Lok Sabha bill and corruption but they have their own issue to resolve.


Corrupt leader in 2G spectrum and above all in CWG 2010 was amusing. I am astonished the way our leaders work and are so keen to get corrupt and ruin the countries name.


But the call of the hour is Why?


What leads them to get corrupt?


Who can answer this or who is ready to face this question and in the end what's the point when we know this is not the end. We still have to see new faces of Kalmari, SPS Rathore or A.Raja and yes who can forget Lalit Modi and Sashi Tharoo till T20 goes on.


I still have a hope to see India as clean without corruption and the world without terrorism. So that when my children grow up they see a clean sky and celebrate India as independent country from the clutches of corruption.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

I leave this.....

When i leave this unfinished
there are many other things
to be finished first...

I lay on my back and look at the roof..
moving fan... Air brushing my cheeks..
every thing is changing, changing with
time...

change will go on...
With course of time
I'll get addicted with., this pain,
these tears..
the pain will vanish with another injury...
and tears will dry...
I'll smile... on my......

I leave this unfinished...
I am reminded of other things
which need to be finished
before i finish this....

Market of Corpse

Benches aligned together
I see from distance,
Green rectangular board
on the wall ahead,
I am sitting on bench...
interacting with friends
I hear a sound ...
Loud enough to make me deaf
Its all black, as if
I have gone blind,
or shut my eyes tight
I see dust,
I see blood everywhere,
In my lap...
I see hands of a friend,
But her body is no where to be seen..,
I cry for help
I shout and howl..
It seems market of corpse
where no body to sell
and no one to buy,
I make my way through the market,
I feel pain and stress
I try to hold the pillar
But I see no arm
And I realise
the hand was mine
in my lap......